Wherever you are, your presence and caring have been felt by all of us here at the farm. As the shock of losing Charismatic so unexpectedly went from feeling unreal to all too real, as the necropsy results came in and Old Friends vets Dr. Waldridge and Dr. Bell helped us all understand them better via Natalie Voss’s informative article in the Paulick Report, and as so many of you have sent your kind words and tokens of sympathy, your caring is strongly felt.
For whatever comfort it may be, I too saw Charismatic’s remains Sunday morning. His position was peaceful and his bedding showed no sign of struggle or distress.
You may have seen this photo, the last one ever taken of him. There’s a little story that goes with it.
On Saturday, Charismatic and the other residents played host to a good number of visitors. Over his two and a half months with us, he came to enjoy these visits. What started as wanting the carrots but wondering what all those people were there for, had relaxed into a routine he liked, for the attention and admiration as well as the carrots. Charismatic impressed us with his dignity, his intelligence, his professional attitude, and his kindness. We looked forward to the long, fascinating journey of forming ever-deepening bonds with him.
That night, after the farm closed, Laura and I golf carted up to the “back 40” for Laura to spend quality time with her favorite girl, Bint Marscay. It takes a lot of carrots to get to the back 40. The horses in back of the main tour route all come to the fence for their due. It’s amazing how many carrots disappear on the way, and the rest disappear quickly as Laura grooms and treats Binty and I noodle around with the others in the back. But we were careful to save some carrots for the two visits I wanted to make before leaving. Half of those carrots were for Charismatic and the other half for Afternoon Deelites.
We stopped by the barn first. Charismatic was, as always, enthusiastic about his carrot dessert. He made short work of all his carrots while Laura took a few more photos of him, though the light was going and she knew they’d be underexposed. Charismatic was so beautiful it was always impossible not to take a few more photos.
But photos were definitely not his concern. Charismatic let us know, in no uncertain terms, that only one thing mattered: I’d stepped away, but I still had carrots.
He could see them plainly. There they were. So why was I not giving them to him? I explained they were for Afternoon Deelites. That didn’t wash. I had carrots. Charismatic wanted them.
This is what’s happening in that photo. His very alert attention is on those carrots.
I sighed. Well, after all, Afternoon Deelites was outdoors in his paddock and wouldn’t know about it. I gave in. Charismatic got to eat every last one of those carrots. I’ll always be glad he did.
And I’ll always be a little comforted that my last words to him were “I love you.”
Though the voice he heard saying the words happened to be mine, I respect and honor that I spoke them to him for each and every one of you who loved him.
photo by Laura